'Theres no place to hide between you and your memory'
Some people have a way of creeping back into your life when you least expect it....even if its not physically.
Its probably my least favorite thing in the world, that moment when you hear, or see something that reminds you of someone from your past. For me, that's when my body goes crazy. I get cold, my chest gets heavy, my throat starts to get sore from the lump in it, and the tears start to swell in my eyes. My mind starts to wander and I think about all the things that went wrong...its torturous. The memories start flooding back, from the first to the last, the good and the bad. Looking back, the bad ones really weren't so bad...sometimes I want them back.
In that moment it feels like I'm right back in it...it feels so real. Its amazing the power of the mind, because I'm really sitting in my living room on my floor, in my comfy clothes, and my fuzzy slippers. I'm almost entirely sure this isn't what I was wearing when we parted ways...haha. I do love these slippers though...so just maybe I was wearing them.
Its been almost a year, and within seconds it can feel like its a fresh wound. It stings.
I don't know how many completion letters Ive written to say goodbye and get everything that I need to say out. I guess I'm missing a few things...I'm sure they will make they're way to the surface.
In the meantime I will go on living this beautiful life, and loving it. I have so many people and things to be grateful for that it makes it so difficult to sit and think about what could have been for too long. Ive asked to learn how to live in the present, and I suppose this right here is it. I acknowledge my past, and how I feel, and then I get up and keep moving.
Its probably my least favorite thing in the world, that moment when you hear, or see something that reminds you of someone from your past. For me, that's when my body goes crazy. I get cold, my chest gets heavy, my throat starts to get sore from the lump in it, and the tears start to swell in my eyes. My mind starts to wander and I think about all the things that went wrong...its torturous. The memories start flooding back, from the first to the last, the good and the bad. Looking back, the bad ones really weren't so bad...sometimes I want them back.
In that moment it feels like I'm right back in it...it feels so real. Its amazing the power of the mind, because I'm really sitting in my living room on my floor, in my comfy clothes, and my fuzzy slippers. I'm almost entirely sure this isn't what I was wearing when we parted ways...haha. I do love these slippers though...so just maybe I was wearing them.
Its been almost a year, and within seconds it can feel like its a fresh wound. It stings.
I don't know how many completion letters Ive written to say goodbye and get everything that I need to say out. I guess I'm missing a few things...I'm sure they will make they're way to the surface.
In the meantime I will go on living this beautiful life, and loving it. I have so many people and things to be grateful for that it makes it so difficult to sit and think about what could have been for too long. Ive asked to learn how to live in the present, and I suppose this right here is it. I acknowledge my past, and how I feel, and then I get up and keep moving.
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